They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
