That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
