My friends, they love my intelligence
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
