Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
