fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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