with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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