I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
