at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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