Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
