I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
