READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wanna passion pit in your ass
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
