please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
