it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
