I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
