I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize