The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i think i just lost a toe
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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