Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
