Will you blow on my dice?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
