where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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