i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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