so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize