I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
