at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
