oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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