The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
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