it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
NoShamevember. You game?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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