No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
