there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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