Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
