You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
