the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I understand Curling. That high.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
