she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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