Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You were trust falling into bushes
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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