You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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