we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
