we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
