They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
3pm strippers are depressing
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
