But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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