my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
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