so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
