Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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