I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
