So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
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