I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
