so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
