Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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