Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Please, let me fuck your mom
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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