I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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