I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
