If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
