Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
