Define "chronic" masturbator.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize