you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
