I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
