Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
