Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
