What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
