She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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