He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize