Pants 0. Shit 1.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
