I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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