im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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