She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize