What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize
