I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
