and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
