Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
