Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize