ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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